May 6, 2012

Do or Do Not... Because You're Damned Either Way

"Applause felt like approval, and it became a drug that soothed the pain, but only temporarily."

- Anita Baker

I have a problem. A totally and completely first-world problem. I want everyone to like me. No, not "like like" me, just plain old like me. I get uncomfortable and upset thinking that someone may not like me. I wonder what I must have done or could have done differently. How self-centered is it for me to care that much? About as self-centered as asking how self-centered I am? Figured.

This post is to be continued because I keep falling asleep trying to write it.


And I'm back. But now I'm wishing I had gotten all my thoughts down when I first sat down to write this post. Granted, I was way too exhausted to focus on it. Basically, I was feeling frustrated by the fact that my life basically revolves around people and relationships, which I used to think everyone's did. However, the more I learn about personality types and the more people I get to know as time goes on, the more I realize that my type of person, in particular, is very focused on people. Therefore, what other people think of me is very important to me. That's the part that's frustrating, not the fact that my life is about people.

A good lesson I've tried to teach myself, but to no avail, is that not everyone will like you, and you don't necessarily want everyone to like you anyway. I had an amazing teacher in high school who said that you want some people to dislike you because the list of people who dislike you says as much, if not more, about your character as the list of people who like you. I absolutely agree with that. My issue is that I always try to like everyone and connect with each person I meet in some way. So I always end up seeing the positive things in a person. This results in my putting a lot of stock in everyone's opinion of me. It is not often that I think, "Oh well, that person's opinion doesn't matter anyway."

Something that I've learned is that there are people who will dislike you if you are rude or don't talk to them, naturally, and yet there are also people who will dislike you if you seem too nice or are too friendly to them. I used to work at a hotel a few years ago, and I befriended one of my supervisors over the course of a few months. One day, she admitted to me that she had seen me talking with our manager the day of my interview and tried to convince him not to hire me. She thought I was being nice to the point that she was certain I must be fake. First of all, how sad is it that we live in a society where we have to question people's intentions that much? Second of all, there really is no pleasing everyone.

In a way, it's freeing to realize that. It relieves a lot of pressure to know that, no matter what you say or do, there will always be some people who like and/or love you and some people who hate or are indifferent toward you. So you can't let the fear of what others think paralyze you. Although that's much easier said than done, I think.

I really want to be a counselor because I am so incredibly interested in everyone's story but, even more so, also feel that it is so important for people to feel listened to and understood. I don't mean to sound overly accepting to the point that I can't tell right from wrong, but I honestly think most of life is so subjective that there's really no harm in being there to affirm the people around us most of the time.

More on that later. I'm falling asleep again.

Hmm, maybe that's a hint that this topic is too boring for anyone to read this post. Oh well. Tough noogies.

1 comment:

  1. I freaking love that you ended this post with "tough noogies." Love you, Cate! I come to your blog to read what you decide to write, so keep it coming!